I suddenly feel old. When it strucked me real hard that my sister is now turning 16.
16! I remember that year. Well. It doesn't even feel like it was 3 years ago.
First boyfriend. Love-Hate relationship with dad. Unstable health. Whatever my body was going through.
And then i remember being a young teenager. 13-14 years of age. Everyone was finding an identity. Everyone had a particular clique. Except me. Yea.. I was too involved with being a prefect. And going home straight after school, just to attend to the home. Do the chores. Taking care of my siblings and my father. (single parent) Can't wait for my parents marriage to just end. Divorce proceedings were taking too long.
At these age, I was extremely close to my dad. Having to see him go through a period. I guess that kept me from straying. I didn't attend bbq's or chalets or whatnots. It was just school, trainings, prefect, home.
But i still did my teenage carnage of course. When my stepmother officially lived with us in Singapore. And i had all the time in the world to be angry, feel angry. Haha. And that was between 15-16.
At 17. I was better. Cooled down. Happier. Found my purpose. I guess it comes with age. And experience. Oh and i learned a huge lesson about l-o-v-e. And strengthen my friendship with the breast friends even further. One relationship was an eye opener to a lot of aspects i must say.
At 18. NEW environment. New people met. New sports tried. New new new. And still new. For the first time. I'm starting to speak malay all over again. Here and there. BECAUSE, now i have malay friends. Unlike before. Even though Sarah took malay, we both sucked. horribly. haha. And. The MALES. Now they exist in my school environment. I can't walk half naked in the classroom or throw a pad across the room/balcony anymore.
I used to think i won't be able to make it in a co-ed environment. Because i was painfully shy among dick possesing beings. How i was wrong.
So i went to poly. Not wanting any drama. Keeping myself guarded. With a whole new perspective. Made friends, still freaking involve with school. Yea. I always have school spirit. Social circle grew and grew. I can't remember names now. Only faces. Officialy start analysing males and their function. And i met a certain Pretty boy. Drive drive drive. Failed TP. Waiting for the next. Survived Year 1. and here i am.
At almost 19, by next month. I-feel-old. Like i said. I remember 16 like it wasn't 3 years ago. And at 16, I already felt old. Not senior citizen old. Just grown. Physically grown and all. I think it's the after effects of puberty. Wait. I still am in puberty. Right? AHH. Last TEEN age. I swear, at 10 i thought 18 was far far away. It came too fast.
Turning 19. Turning 19. What have you done in your life Far'ain?